I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
