i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
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It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
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she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap