..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.