My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
