i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
