After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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