How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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