Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
