a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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