Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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