You really coming over, don't trick.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!