The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
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I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
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What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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