Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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