Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
