Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
