we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You coming home soon, man?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?