Texts From Last Night

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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.

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  (423): Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately. http://tfl.nu/vgak
  Replies (18) Good night (2106) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..

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  (804): If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night.. http://tfl.nu/3lun
  Replies (3) Good night (888) Bad night (3485) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"

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  (218): you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey" http://tfl.nu/pjur
  Replies (24) Good night (6382) Bad night (1170) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.

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  (203): I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails. http://tfl.nu/h0ov
  Replies (37) Good night (1280) Bad night (4697) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.

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  (864): just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring. http://tfl.nu/qf1b
  Replies (7) Good night (3455) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR

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  (604): I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR http://tfl.nu/a8v0
  Replies (15) Good night (2953) Bad night (1716) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.

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  (647): the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is. http://tfl.nu/ndxc
  Replies (8) Good night (4319) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.

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  (304): No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me. http://tfl.nu/xahh
  Replies (10) Good night (2267) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.

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  (715): Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor. http://tfl.nu/kri4
  Replies (10) Good night (1269) Bad night (1906)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.

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  (931): Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever. http://tfl.nu/3e6h
  Replies (4) Good night (1353) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.

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  (865): So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall. http://tfl.nu/00be
  Replies (2) Good night (1080) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today

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  (412): You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today http://tfl.nu/so0a
  Replies (5) Good night (713) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?

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  (651): How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now? http://tfl.nu/kz7z
  Replies (8) Good night (834) Bad night (328) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.

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  (910): Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer. http://tfl.nu/mbe5
  Replies (5) Good night (1390) Bad night (325) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  like...quickly.

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  (814): Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision? (814): like...quickly. http://tfl.nu/6pc5
  Replies (3) Good night (624) Bad night (255)

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