Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"