it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid