i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
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I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
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don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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