He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants