Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.