I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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