Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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