she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
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you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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