So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
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Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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