Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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