hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
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if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
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Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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