At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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