I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
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I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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