we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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