were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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