I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize