You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
