You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
