its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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