I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
