She is in my trunk
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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