i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
