goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I am mentally ready for anal.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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