Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
