Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
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WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
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I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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