Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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