i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
