she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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