I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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