somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
