He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
