I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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