It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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