you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
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God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
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But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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