after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You need a sexual gate keeper
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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