i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
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She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
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I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Damn victory sex feels great
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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