Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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