Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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