rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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